Heartache
by redfox13
Summary: Contest 5 at The Silver Snitch. Dark of Night Challenge. Severus and Lucius are lovers. Lucius persuades Severus to join Voldemort. OneShot, SSLM.


Disclaimer: Anything and everything belongs to JK Rowling. :_winks_: Except the plot of course, that may be mine...

Author: Bwahaha, another fic by me, I hope u like.

Warning: Um, I _guess_ u can consider it sex, though it's just oral stuff. :_flushes_: I'll be sure to rate this correctly since I kinda messed up on my other fic with the rating.

* * *

Lost in the darkness…no light to shine through.

_Why have you done this?_

"Lucius." The youth's voice was swallowed by betrayed pain.

"I can't Severus, it's over between us." The Malfoy heir whispered in return.

Cold, yet steady footsteps echoed against the stones as the blonde walked away, leaving behind the broken shadow of his once love.

A shattered soul stared at the retreating figure, each step breaking his heart even more.

_Don't leave me alone. It's your fault that I'm here, that I've been branded._ A weak breath hitched in a tightening chest. _Your fault that I'm now broken._

Severus lowered his head, ebony locks spilling into his face and shielding his eyes.

"Why?" His voice was lost on himself.

----------

"Lucius!" A laughing voice called out as the boy waved the tall figure down.

The blonde tipped his head back, smiling as he spied the wizard running up to him.

"Severus." He inclined his head, resting an arm around the shorter boy's shoulders as he came within reach.

The Malfoy pulled the shorter youth closer and leaned down to place a chaste kiss against his brow.

"How has your day been?" Lucius murmured his voice rich and smooth against Severus' ears.

Severus shuddered slightly in pleasure and leaned closer as he shrugged. "It was going fine until I ran into Potter and his Mudblood girlfriend." He scowled.

The pale face scowled. "We'll take care of Potter, his little Marauders too, while we're at it." Lucius scoffed.

Severus nodded. "The Gryffindors have been bothersome as of late." He mused. "They might be planning something."

The Slytherin pair continued their leisure walk toward the Great Hall, Lucius' fingers idly stroking through Severus' dark locks. Severus prized his hair over everything, the shoulder length mass of ebony was smooth and silky; it flowed easily through the blonde's hands. The stupid Gryffindors used the sleekness of his hair against him, calling him a Slimy Git, trying to get him riled up.

_Fools._ He silently berated his enemies.

"Hm, I know I don't have to warn you away from them, you're much smarter then that." Lucius spoke gently.

Severus scoffed. "I wouldn't be stupid enough to go near them willingly, the dirty half-breeds."

Lucius smiled brightly and fondled Severus' neck lightly. "That's a good Pet." He murmured.

They broke through the large doors of the Great Hall and were immediately swallowed by the noisy chatter of teenagers. Lucius smoothly guided them toward the Slytherin table, effectively securing the attention of their year mates.

_He is a sight to be reckoned with._ Severus mused as he watched the aristocratic grace his lover held.

Strong cheek bones framed by almost white locks gave his already smooth nose more style. His eyes were Severus' favorite characteristic. The orbs were a swirl of silver, speckled with grey, and there _was_ a difference between the two colors. Lucius' eyes practically glowed in the darkness, the silver of his irises reflecting and prominent.

Severus sighed and sat beside the Slytherin Prince. Lucius began to delicately fill his plate with his favorite foods, nodding toward Severus to do the same.

The dark haired boy smiled and shoveled this and that onto his own plate sitting before him. "So Lucius, how was your – "

"Hello Lucius." A feminine voice interrupted.

Severus managed to hold back his scowl of disgust as Lucius nodded politely to their newest companion.

"Narcissa." His voice was silk as he smiled charmingly.

_Her name shouldn't be spoken with such a voice, it should only be used when he speaks to me._ Severus glowered.

The blonde witch giggled lightly and sat herself beside the Malfoy heir, eyes flashing toward Severus beside him.

"Severus." Her voice was tight.

The dark eyed boy smiled inwardly. _She doesn't like me much. As though she could make it more obvious._

"So Lucius, I was speaking to your little friends, Crabbe and Goyle?" She batted her eyes as she smiled innocently.

Lucius nodded slightly as he sipped at his goblet.

"Well while I was with them I heard a juicy piece of gossip." Her eyes lit excitedly. "You're joining the Dark Lord?" Her voice was hushed so that only they could hear.

Severus frowned as he glanced toward the blonde. _Dark Lord?_

Lucius seemed to know what she was talking about and nodded shortly. "I've already been initiated." He replied proudly.

If it was possible, Narcissa gained an even more adoring expression.

"That's wonderful!" She breathed. "It's so sexy that you would decide to join such an imposing figure."

Lucius snorted. "Well you can't possibly expect me to side with _Dumbledore_, that fool and his ways are a disgrace to wizards." He shook his head with a scowl. "Allowing muggles and mudbloods into the school, it's disgusting."

"That is the _exact_ attitude that we must withhold!" Narcissa gushed. "You're so smart Lucius, I'm sure you will be a very powerful man."

_Merlin this is sickening._ Severus glared down at his food as he continued to listen to their conversation.

Suddenly a screech erupted from Narcissa and Severus quickly looked toward the tempered blonde.

It seemed someone had charmed a goblet filled with pumpkin juice to float above the girl and then drop its load. The goblet remained above her soaking head upturned and dripping occasionally.

She breathed heavily in anger as she stared toward the Gryffindor table where laughter had immediately bubbled forth at her inhuman scream.

"Evans!" She spat, blue eyes glaring death at the witch.

Lily smiled and waved from her position in James' arms, an innocent expression set on her face. "Yes Narcissa?" She called in return.

"I know it was you!" Narcissa angrily stabbed her wand at the girl, splattering juice onto those sitting beside her.

"Shove off Black, Lily didn't do anything." James retorted.

"Filthy little Mudblood!" Narcissa spat. "You're not good enough to wipe my slippers on!"

She rose, dripping pumpkin juice down her crisp robes, shooting a glare at the still laughing Gryffindor table as her skin stained orange.

"Oi, watch it James, we've got ourselves a wild one." Sirius laughed.

"Just wait until my father hears about this." The girl scowled prettily. "You'll answer to him, _Cousin_."

"Why don't you go clean up Narcissa, we wouldn't want your pretty face to melt off!" Sirius sneered in return.

The witch huffed and stomped out of the Great Hall with a backwards glare at the pockets of laughter following her.

Severus chuckled to himself; she really was getting what she deserved. It seemed that Narcissa tormented Lily even more then Lucius jabbed at that insufferable prat Potter.

He turned toward his lover and noticed a thoughtful expression upon the blonde's face.

"What's wrong Lucius?" He asked softly.

Silver orbs turned toward the questioning voice and Lucius smiled in return as he was broken from his thoughts. "It's nothing to worry about, just a passing thought." He murmured. He shifted and pushed his plate away. "Let's go somewhere private." He flashed a smile.

Severus grinned and immediately rose. "Lead the way."

Catcalls and whistles arose from the Gryffindor table as Severus allowed Lucius to pull him to his feet. He glared at Potter and Black as they winked and blew kisses at him.

"Go Snivellus, you've got yourself a pretty one there!" James laughed.

"Yeah, it's too bad Malfoy won't share some of his looks with you, I'm sure then your mother would actually acknowledge your existence!" Sirius jibed.

"Don't listen to them." Lucius muttered as they left the noise behind them.

Severus relaxed into Lucius' hold and pulled him closer as they made their way toward the dungeons. Hopefully they didn't run into Narcissa.

_Merlin that girl is annoying._ Severus scowled.

He allowed his eyes to track across the portraits as they made their way down into the lower depths of the castle, slowly the walls lost their burdens and grew bare and stony.

"You've sided with the Dark Lord?" Severus murmured conversationally.

The body beside him tensed for a moment before Lucius laughed easily. "I would presume you have also done so." He replied.

Severus nodded. "My father wants me to join the ranks of Death Eaters." He replied. "But it seems like an empty task, what's the point?"

"It's a glorious position." The blonde argued. "Being able to say that you are part of such a great movement. We are fighting for the rights of wizards everywhere and putting half-breeds in their place."

"I suppose." Severus murmured. _Do I really want to dedicate my life to the ideals of another wizard though? Life is hard enough dealing with Potter and his friends, not to mention the thought of N.E.W.T.S and O.W.L.S._

Lucius suddenly hugged Severus closely, bringing them chest to chest, excitement lacing his voice. "Why don't you come with me tonight?" He breathed into his ear.

"What happens tonight?" Severus asked hesitantly, relaxing in the firm hold.

"I'm going to a Death Eater meeting. You should accompany me; you could become a Death Eater also." He smiled pointedly. "Wouldn't that make your father proud? That you took the initiative and pledged your loyalty without his telling?"

_He probably would be proud, that bastard._ Severus inwardly scowled. _All he's ever wanted me to do is to join with Voldemort._

"You have a point." He conceded.

"Will you then?" Lucius leaned forward so that he could see Severus' face within the dimly lit corridor.

The dark haired boy sighed and nodded his consent. "Yes."

The blonde's silver eyes lit happily. "Excellent." He leaned in and kissed Severus deeply. "I think a reward is in order." He whispered huskily as he pulled away.

_Merlin he's so sexy._

"_Yes._" Severus panted.

Lucius threaded his fingers through the dark locks of silk, pulling his lover closer to him, sucking at his mouth similar to a Dementor sucking out a soul.

"You're so beautiful." Lucius whispered.

_No, you are the one who has capture my eye, you're too good for me._

"Sev." His voice was roughened with his lust.

Severus moaned and leaned his head to the side, allowing Lucius more room to lick and suck. The blonde attacked the flushed skin with fervor, nipping at the sensitive area above Severus' collar.

"Room." He growled. "_Now_."

Severus was guided toward Lucius' private quarters, being rich did have its perks. And luckily for them there were no curious eyes watching as they walked through the common room and passed through Lucius' warded door.

Upon entering the bedroom, Lucius and Severus immediately undressed and lay down on the blonde's enormous bed.

Severus pulled Lucius on top of him, kissing him passionately as his eyes fluttered shut. _Merlin he tastes good._ He hummed as their tongues slithered against each other.

Lucius leaned in closer, taking the kiss deeper as he pressed his body into Severus', feeling the warmth of skin on skin. The sensation was amazing. Severus groaned, shifting as he felt Lucius' hard cock against his stomach and then pressed even closer to the delicious heat. It was as if they were trying to become one body.

Slowly Lucius moved his hand between their bodies to Severus' erection, and began to softly stroke him. The dark head was thrown back with a misplaced breath as the boy gasped.

"Lucius!" He breathed.

Lucius moved down to the pale chest before him, teasing dusky nipples, alternately biting and licking them. Severus pulled the blonde's head closer to his body, trying to attain more of the sensations erupting from the feathery touch, his breath growing shorter as his chest rose and fell rapidly.

Lucius trailed his lips and tongue lower, swirling around Severus' naval before diving in and flicking his tongue in slight fucking motions. He began running his fingers across the lengthening dick below him, causing Severus to twitch.

"Mm, stop teasing Lucius." The youth panted.

A velvety chuckle rose from his lower regions and then Severus was seeing stars. Lucius inhaled the twitching cock fully in his mouth, tongue swiping at the underside as he slowly pulled upward with a suctioned grip.

The scent of Severus' manhood was intoxicating as Lucius pulled away and gazed at the slicked erection. He slowly licked around the head of the foreign cock, tasting its essence as precum spilled from the slit.

Lucius took him slowly into his mouth once more, moaning as he enjoyed the feel of the hard cock inside his mouth. He took a little bit at a time, slowly beginning to move his head up and down on the shaft, limiting the depth he was taking Severus in.

Severus began to moan softly, moving his hips with the motion of his lover's head. _He's too skilled with his mouth._ He head was thrown back as his breathing deepened. _I might not last._

Lucius had one hand around the base of Severus' cock and the other fondling his balls. "Do you like that?" He murmured lustily.

"Yes!" His lover cried.

"Perhaps you could return the favor."

The blonde immediately rotated his position so that his erection was now facing Severus' face. The youth hungrily took the length into his mouth, sucking and licking with expertise.

Both were building to a climax and Severus felt himself weakening, he began to fuck his lover's mouth hard and the latter did likewise.

They took each other all the way into their mouths, kneading one another's balls, coaxing each to a climax.

Severus felt the orgasm build deeply within him and he could feel Lucius' balls tighten as he began to come in his mouth at exactly the same time Severus came into his with a muffled shout. They sucked and licked each other clean, finally falling back onto the bed when their withering cocks began to ache from the bathing tongues.

Severus panted lightly as he stared up at the ceiling; slowly he turned back around and put his arms around Lucius. They kissed deeply, for, what seemed like forever.

_This is the perfection no one able to attain._ Severus sighed softly.

Lucius stretched, groaning as his muscles popped. He rolled over and smiled sweetly at his lover. "I have to get ready for my meeting now." He kissed Severus' chastely on his lips. "Why don't you go and change too."

Severus lifted himself into a sitting position and ruffled his hair as trailed his hand down his bare chest nodding in agreement. "What time do we leave?"

"Midnight, we will Portkey to the secret location, return to my room at eleven thirty."

"Alright." Severus rose; he leaned forward and pressed their lips together once more before striding toward his discarded robes. "I'll see you later then."

Lucius watched calmly as the slender figure slipped back into billowing robes.

"Goodbye Love." He smiled.

Severus chuckled lightly as he left. _Well that was an excellent way to kill time._ He smirked to himself, making his way through the common room.

He leisurely walked the halls, thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. He sent a sidelong glance towards the calm lake as the evening breeze caressed his face. The shade from the late sun enveloped him, surrounding him with a mysterious air.

"It's a beautiful day isn't it?" A voice interrupted his silent musing.

Severus whipped toward the voice with a frown of shock as he spied the wizard beside him.

"A word Mr. Snape, if I may?" Dumbledore murmured politely.

The Slytherin glared at the old wizard with a hint of trepidation. "Of course Headmaster."

Severus allowed himself to be led away from the shadows, glancing warily around every corner as Dumbledore walked smoothly ahead of him.

_What reason could he possibly have to speak to me alone?_ He thought worriedly. _Does he know about Lucius?_ His heart clenched at that thought. _I won't tell him anything, he's a fool if he thinks I will._

By the time they reached the Headmaster's office Severus was worriedly biting his lip, heart thrumming in his chest.

_Please, please don't mention Lucius._

"Cockroach Cluster."

Severus vaguely realized he was being propelled forward onto the staircase in front of Dumbledore, he jerked forward as the stairs took them up.

_Bloody hell._ He mentally cursed as he steadied his stance.

"Sorry about that my boy, I forgot to warn you." Dumbledore smiled kindly.

_Stupid old codger._ Severus glowered.

"Ah, here we are." The Headmaster led Severus forward and motioned for him to sit before the large desk, where he then sat behind.

Severus glanced around the room, taking note of all the portraits, undoubtedly of past Headmasters as they began to speak of his ancestors and their time at Hogwarts. The room was cluttered with an odd collection of books, along with a number of odd objects that whirred and lit up.

There was a light clearing of throat and Severus turned toward the sound, flinching at the heavy gaze that settled upon him.

"It has come to my attention that you may have been approached by Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore's eyes held a serious glint to their depths.

"Sir?" Severus swallowed thickly.

"There is nothing to fear Severus, I know all about the students and their involvement with Voldemort."

Severus shuddered slightly at the name; most wizards wouldn't have the courage to speak the wizard's name aloud. Dumbledore seemed to be a breed apart.

_How does he know about the Death Eater recruitment?_ Severus' eyes darted toward the floor nervously.

"I have a proposition for you." Dumbledore murmured when no reply was forthcoming. "I know there is no way to change your mind against joining his ranks, but perhaps, if you ever find yourself in need of a way out…"

Severus narrowed his eyes suspiciously yet remained silent.

"Perhaps you would be willing to spy for me. I know it would be far more dangerous to live a double life, but I think I understand your situation Mr. Snape. You don't seem like the type to willingly follow Voldemort. Peer pressure along with that of your family must be unbearable."

Severus scowled. "You don't know what I'm going through, you have no idea." He spat.

Dumbledore inclined his head. "Forgive me for presuming I understood your situation Mr. Snape." He smiled kindly. "Please remember my offer though, if you ever find yourself in need."

Severus nodded shortly. "Is that all?"

"Yes, that is all." Dumbledore replied.

Severus swept out of the room, hunching his shoulders against the stare he knew was following him.

_Damn him, if he's made me late I'm going to be mad._

He picked up the pace and jogged the rest of the way to the common room, the password was given and he slipped past the few nightly students circling the fire, making his way up to the dorm.

Light snores greeted his ears and it was as he was nearing his trunk that he realized he wouldn't have the appropriate wear for a Death Eater meeting. Whenever his father attended such a meeting he always wore specially tailored robes.

_Perhaps Lucius forgot._

Severs changed directions and made his way down the stairs once more and went purposely toward Lucius' room.

The wards allowed him through and as he entered the adjoined bedroom he spoke his worries.

"Lucius I realized I don't have the correct robes for the meeting." He murmured.

Lucius appeared to be brushing his lengthy hair into a tight knot as he glanced into his enchanted mirror, coos and complements about his handsome figure were being delved out. He flicked the stray strands behind his ears and turned.

He smiled with the Malfoy charm. "I have your robes with me Severus, I asked a friend to specially fit them for you."

Severus frowned. "Then why did you send me to change if you knew I wouldn't be able to?"

Lucius continued to smile. "No reason Love."

_Why don't I believe him? Oh, that's right, because that's the smile he uses when he's trying to gain someone's trust. He's lying to me._

"Of course Lucius. I better ready myself then." Severus conceded though he was suddenly hit by the unmistakable scent of perfume.

Very expensive perfume at that.

The kind that Narcissa drenched herself in.

He felt a twinge of hurt at that thought but he took the dark silk robes from his lover, brushing against the smooth hand as the burden was passed to him. His eyes shone lightly as he looked up at Lucius.

_Why does he have to lie to me?_ He frowned to himself.

He fumbled with his own robes but managed to drop them to the floor with little difficulty.

"Shall we go then?" Lucius asked as Severus slipped into the required robes.

The dark head nodded. "Who else is coming with us?" He questioned curiously, pulling his hood up tightly.

Lucius grasped his hand as he pulled them past the now sleeping students beside the fire; undoubtedly the blonde had slipped a sleeping draught into their evening tea.

"No one for now, it will just be you and me tonight." He purred lightly.

Severus smiled; he _did_ feel special when he was with his blonde lover. He just hoped he was enough for the young Malfoy.

Not for the first time that day, Severus found himself being guided by Lucius. The halls were strangely silent; no Prefects swooped down on them ready to deal out detentions for being out past curfew.

_Probably Lucius' work once more._

"Hurry." Lucius whispered as they slid past the entrance doors.

Severus was tugged into the blonde's arms and suddenly he found himself being pulled and transported by a hidden Portkey.

He clung onto Lucius' shoulders, eyes clenched shut in dizziness.

"Are you alright?" The whispered voice was soothing.

Severus blinked his eyes open and squinted around them. "Yes, I'm fine." He nodded as he pulled away from his death grip.

"Good, let's go then." Lucius murmured eagerly.

Shocked eyes looked skyward as they stepped up to the huge manor.

_I thought Lucius' home was big._ He stared in amazement.

"Come." Lucius steered them toward the doors.

Severus drank in the rich sights as they seemed to go lower through the manor, the hall they were taking _had_ been off to one side, hidden really. Slowly the walls began to take on a more cold and dreary air.

"Lucius, where are we – "

The stench of blood hit his senses like a brick wall and Severus reeled back instinctively, halting in his steps and running into a solid body behind him. A firm hand was placed at his lower back and propelled him forward gently.

He looked over his shoulder and up, taking slight comfort in the calm smile Lucius held.

"Keep moving, we don't want to be late." He murmured.

Severus nodded slightly and allowed himself to be guided deeper into the fortress. Screams and pain filled moans whispered through the stoned hall, growing louder with each step.

_What is this place?_ A frown marred his otherwise calm façade.

He reached around in search of his lover's hand and grasped it, trying to take comfort in the small contact. A pang of hurt confusion shot through him as Lucius pulled away. He glanced up in question and Lucius merely shook his head as they continued forward.

_I'm starting to regret agreeing to come along to this so called meeting._ Severus mentally growled. _Something strange is going on and I don't like it._

The agonized screeches were now so close Severus could feel the rough breath on his cheek. Once more he looked toward Lucius. He was calm as he remained marching forward, eyes intensely cold.

_Lucius doesn't seem to be concerned about it._ Severus worried his lower lip between his teeth. _Maybe it's nothing._ He tried to reassure himself.

"Here we are." Lucius breathed into his ear.

Severus blinked back his shock at the mass of black and white. A few masked faces turned to watch them as Lucius led him toward his standing position.

"You will stand here until you are initiated." He whispered lightly.

Severus frowned up at the taller boy. "Where will you be?" He asked worriedly, he didn't realize they would have to be separated.

"I will stand amongst the others of my rank." Lucius replied, squeezing Severus' hand shortly.

With that small bit of reassurance he left and strode purposely with his head held high toward another group of Death Eaters. Severus turned to look at the wizards he had been left with. They seemed like proud purebloods.

_Bloody pricks._ He thought immediately.

A sudden hush swept across the room as a figure stepped into the room, radiating power. Severus turned curiously, so this was Voldemort.

He looked to be a striking man, probably extremely handsome in his youth. He was still good looking now, light eyes and dark curls. But it was when he spoke that his true power came through.

"I see we have new followers." He murmured coolly as he sent a glare in their direction.

_I see why so many follow him._ Severus thought with respect.

He half listened as plans for attacks were set. His main concern was keeping watch of Lucius. Even though they couldn't be together physically, the mere sight of his lover gave Severus comfort.

But that wasn't to remain.

Voldemort waved a hand forward as conversation came to a halt. "Lucius." He beckoned.

Severus watched mutely behind his mask as his lover rose from his crouched bow and stepped forward.

"Yes Master?" He murmured respectfully.

"Your family Lucius, they are one of the most respected wizarding families are they not?" The Dark Lord questioned.

Lucius did not show his confusion at such a question though Severus could hear it in his voice.

"They are my Lord." He inclined his head.

"Have you been betrothed to a suitable wife?" Voldemort continued with his strange line of questions.

"Yes my Lord, Narcissa Black. We are to be wed during the summer." Lucius replied dutifully.

Severus' eyes widened. _This summer?__ Why didn't he tell me?_

"There are no others? No lovers perhaps?"

"No, I have no one else my Lord." The Malfoy replied.

Severus felt his heart break as he clenched his teeth angrily. _That bastard._ He seethed quietly.

"Excellent." Voldemort hissed. "Your first child shall belong to me Lucius, do you understand?"

The blonde bowed. "Yes my Lord."

"Go now." The Dark Lord waved him away.

Lucius inclined his head and stepped back into line amongst his fellow Death Eaters. Severus glared from his position, wishing his ex-lover the most painful death in existence.

"We shall initiate our new brothers." Voldemort hissed, interrupting the sable eyed boy's thoughts of revenge.

A chill went through his spine. _Merlin this is it._ He thought desperately.

Severus felt his heart beating erratically in his chest while his breathing was becoming quick around the thick lump in his throat. He didn't want this anymore, he had expected Lucius to stay by his side throughout this new challenge, but by the Slytherin's own mouth he had been denied.

Against his will Severus was pushed forward with the remaining unmarked wizards, terror laced his thoughts.

_I need to escape, I don't want to follow this mad man._ His eyes darted through the sea of masked faces, a silent plea being flung out only to be utterly destroyed by lack of eye contact.

A wail broke his mad concentration and Severus' eyes darted toward the source of such a stopping sound. There, bowed before Voldemort, were five muggle females, bound and writhing on the cold stones. An unforgiving gaze bored through them as they sobbed their broken pleas and prayers to the silence of the gathering, the cold eyes then turned toward his audience as Voldemort nodded.

The first of the victims was shoved forward on her face unceremoniously, just as a Death Eater pushed one of the wizards from Severus' group before the girl.

_What are they going to do to her…_

Severus looked toward the girl and then toward the unmoving robed figure in horrified realization just as the Voldemort spoke.

"Kill the muggle."

"My Lord?" The hesitant voice held respect.

Voldemort waved an uncaring hand. "Make it quick, I don't have time for pleasantries such as torture."

"Yes Master." The unnamed wizard raised his wand and pointed it cruelly toward the sobbing girl. "Avada Kedavra!"

The green light stung Severus' eyes and he closed them in pained fear. He would be forced to reenact that same spell; it had finally become clear to him. There were enough muggles for each of them; this was some type of test to prove their loyalty. A gruesome one at that.

The lifeless body fell limply, eyes wide and staring. Severus shuddered as the remaining muggles began screaming in panicked fear.

_Merlin._ He groaned silently.

Severus was thankful that he was the last to step forward; it gave him a few lasting seconds with a clear conscience, and a chance to figure out a plan to help him escape.

He had nothing.

_Shit shit shit!_ His heart thudded in his chest.

He found himself now facing a young child, her bright eyes were silver in the dim light and they reflected her inner fear. Yet she remained silent as she stared up at her soon to be killer. Severus also noted that her pale locks were the color of straw.

_She looks so much like Lucius._ He thought brokenly.

"Kill her." Voldemort hissed.

Charcoal eyes closed painfully as Severus raised his wand and pointed it toward his victim.

"Avada Kedavra." He murmured.

There was no sound as the last body fell to a heap with the rest of the dead.

Severus relaxed minutely, he had done it, he had actually killed. His eyes shot open as he stepped back.

He had killed. An innocent no less!

But surely it wasn't so bad, the girl was nothing but a muggle. They were inferior to wizards, less then dogs.

_It was an innocent child._ His mind reminded him ruthlessly.

"The marking shall commence." Voldemort hissed, calling forth the first wizard that had so joyfully killed his muggle.

Severus saw Voldemort murmur a few soft-spoken words and then the young boy stood straight and held out his arm.

_Shit!_

What was this? Torture? He tried to see what was happening but he couldn't decipher anything unless he moved forward, he would get his turn soon enough, he decided to stay put.

_Is he using the Cruciatus Curse?_ He wondered briefly before the next wizard stepped forward.

Screams pinched at Severus' hearing and his eyes darted about the shadows for an escape. His mind was still numb from the killing, but he did know one thing.

He needed to get out of there. And preferably before his name was called by that –

"_Severus_." Voldemort hissed.

Severus paled in absolute fear; he kept his head bowed as he shuffled forward.

_Oh Merlin, I don't want to be here, I don't want to do this._ His mind swirled in panic.

A cold hand reached out and brushed against his arm, leaving a strange burning across his skin. "Hm, a Snape, I see. Your father is loyal to me, perhaps you will be just as dedicated." Voldemort grinned.

_Is that it?_ His mind began to slow hopefully.

A wand tip pressed deeply into his arm. "_Morsmordre._"

_No – _

Indescribable pain ripped through Severus' body and he wasn't able to contain his scream of agony. He hunched over, pulling into himself as he clutched at his burning limb. He wanted to rip his arm off.

Instead he settled on biting his lip and muffling his screams. He didn't feel when he broke through his skin, neither was he aware of the blood trickling down his chin and flooding his mouth.

Then the pain simply stopped.

Severus blinked dazedly and found himself on his knees, blood dripping steadily from his torn lip. _Is it over?_ His thoughts were fuzzy.

"Well done Severus, you are far more tolerant to pain then some of my other followers." Voldemort grinned evilly at the shuddering figure.

"Th-thank you Master." He managed to bow his head, knowing that if he didn't he would be killed on the spot.

"You may leave." Voldemort waved him away.

Severus rose with difficulty, cradling his arm close, trying to ignore the throbbing and twitching of muscles. He limped toward the other newly marked and stood straight as he turned to face his new Lord.

"Now that they have been taken care of business shall move on." The wizard directed uncaringly.

The young Slytherin sighed silently and allowed his shoulders to slump as he vaguely listened to the cold words of torture and death.

_Please just end this, let us return home._ He slowly licked his bloodied lip and sucked on the cut, wincing at the sting.

"That is all we shall discuss this meeting. I expect any and all Death Eaters to continue their spying. Especially those among Hogwarts." His eyes rested on Severus.

The boy was panting lightly; his body felt as though it was burning up. _Going into shock._ He thought vaguely.

"Dismissed." Voldemort waved his hand and rose from his throne, disappearing into another room.

Severus was too far gone in his pain to move and vaguely felt hands on his shoulders as he was taken away by Portkey. His stomach flipped nauseously as his naval was pulled and he slapped a hand over his mouth to halt his retching.

_Merlin that does not feel good._ His vision swam before him as they landed heavily.

"Are you alright Sev?" A concerned voice whispered through the night's silence.

The dark eyed boy glanced up and found that they were at the entrance of Hogwarts, the doors looming above them in watch; he was on his hands and knees, the stones cool in his broken hold.

"Severus?" The voice questioned again.

_Who the hell is talking to me?_ He rolled onto his back and stared up at the starred sky. A blonde head moved into his line of sight and he felt his stomach clench again.

"You." He muttered.

"What about me?" Lucius frowned.

"_You._" Severus began to come back to his senses. "You _bastard_."

Silver eyes widened in shock. "What?" Lucius demanded.

"Were you planning on telling me about Black anytime soon?" Severus demanded. "Fuck Lucius, I get _branded_ for you and this is what I get in return? It's like a slap in the face!"

Lucius shook his head, his messy bun beginning to come undone and sending stray locks into his face. "I can't do this anymore Sev." His voice was low. "You don't understand."

_Can't do this? What is there to do? You either love me or you don't!_ The angered youth growled silently.

"What are you trying to say?" Severus narrowed his eyes accusingly.

"We're over." The blonde muttered. "I am to be wed to Narcissa Black, there's no room for you."

Severus stared at him in shock. He was being tossed to the side so quickly?

_Why have you done this?_

"Lucius." The youth's voice was swallowed by betrayed pain.

"I can't Severus, it's over between us." The Malfoy heir whispered in return.

Cold, yet steady footsteps echoed against the stones as the blonde walked away, leaving behind the broken shadow of his once love.

A shattered soul stared at the retreating figure, each step breaking his heart even more.

_Don't leave me alone. It's your fault that I'm here, that I've been branded._ A weak breath hitched in a tightening chest. _Your fault that I'm now broken._

Severus lowered his head, ebony locks spilling into his face and shielding his eyes.

"Why?" His voice was lost on himself.

He angrily hit his fist against the unforgiving wall, clenching his teeth against the sharp pain brought on by the bite of stone.

"Damn him." He hissed, tears blurring his vision.

A bitter pain throbbed in his chest as he entered the castle and began to listlessly walk through the abandoned halls, his feet taking him where his mind refused to go.

He stared with dull eyes at the statue dutifully guarding the Headmaster's office. "Cockroach Cluster." He murmured in a subdued tone.

_Stupid old fool, I don't understand why he has such a fascination with candy._

He waited until the statue shifted to the side and allowed his entrance, shuffling his footsteps; he stepped onto the staircase and allowed it to carry him upward.

_This is really happening._ He thought brokenly. _I'm about to hand my life over to Dumbledore, the incarnation of good._

His breath quickened in his chest as he thought back to the events that had plagued his thoughts. He had killed an innocent muggle.

He hated it, he didn't want power like that.

Angry with himself, he shoved the door open, allowing it to bang on its hinges.

"I'll do it." Severus panted harshly.

Dumbledore looked up from his desk, a frown marring his usually happy face. "What was that Severus?"

The boy's shoulders shook roughly. "I'll do it." He repeated. "I'll spy for you."

"This is a very weighty decision, are you sure you want to do this Mr. Snape?" Dumbledore asked gently.

"_Yes._" He hissed, tears threatening to erupt from his darkened eyes. _No, I will not cry, I must be strong for my next task._

"Very well." The Headmaster nodded. "If you are sure." He tried, giving him another chance to escape.

"I am." Severus nodded, turning to leave.

"We'll speak about this at a later time Severus." Dumbledore called after him.

The Slytherin nodded, closing the door behind him and allowing his shoulders to slump in defeat. He had done it; he had joined the Light side as a spy.

Severus choked and held in a sob as his hand rose to his mouth, halting any noise. Slowly he made his way down the staircase and toward the dungeons. He couldn't face Lucius, but he knew he would have to. His life depended on him acting as though nothing had happened.

As though his heart hadn't been broken.

He came upon the Slytherin portrait and managed to hiss out the password through his inner turmoil. Bypassing his fellow Slytherins Severus went straight to bed, ignoring the questions thrown.

He threw himself beneath his sheets and buried his face in his pillow, finally allowing himself the tears he needed to shed. The pillow's rough material absorbed his weakness but Severus didn't care.

Everything was over.

Soon his tears halted and the pressure on his head lulled him into a restless sleep as darkness swallowed all thoughts.

Tomorrow, his new life would begin.

* * *

Author: Sheesh, that was long. :_growls_: I hope u peoples liked it. :_dies_: Man I'm tired.  
-Red


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